Pretentious Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 If you have any questions, disagree with anything I've posted, or don't understand what I'm saying, then contact me and we can discuss it. Everyone makes mistakes. All of these issues are on the "Start" Map. 1. This has been changed recently, but I think it should be changed back. Informational sign posts should definitely have periods at the end. Sign posts which are used in this manner should not have them. She isn't just a neighbour who greets people... she's THE Greeting Neighbour. Reveal hidden contents 2. Comma splice. You can't connect two independent clauses with a comma. Reveal hidden contents 3. Compound sentence. Reveal hidden contents 4. Comma splice. Reveal hidden contents 5. Comma splice. Reveal hidden contents 6. Too many periods. <3 Reveal hidden contents 7. Comma splice. Reveal hidden contents 8. I think I read somewhere that y'all decided to always capitalize "Pokemon Trainer". Reveal hidden contents 9. These are duplicate images. I'm pretty sure you can combine all three of these to make them easier to read. Reveal hidden contents 10. Comma splice and a suggestion. Reveal hidden contents 11. Comma splice. Reveal hidden contents Start House 1 Map 1. Suggestion. Where I'm from, nobody would say this phrase the way it is written. If it's used this way in other places, then just ignore my suggestion. :D Sorry for the bad LOC. I'm sure you can find it, though. Reveal hidden contents 2. Idiom. Technically, you can still use "was", but you have to change "this" to "that" no matter how you write it. **OR** you can leave it the way you have it if you want Catty Del Rey to give off a foreign vibe. ;) Reveal hidden contents 3. Speaking vs Reading. This one really grinds my gears for some reason. Reveal hidden contents Sig created by Annazhee Link to comment https://pokemonrevolution.net/forum/topic/1081-start-map-dialogue-errors/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
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